ong yi jian CLIVE ryan

I was late for school.. with RUSYAIDI,ZULFEQAR and ADILLA.. went in class with fucking moody face.
I was damn mad at CLIVE cause of what ANN,FAZIRAH told me.First FAZIRAH told me what he say 1 week ago... yaah i was damn angry but i know i cannot do anything to him but just to keep quiet and break down.And so time pass by.. 1 week lateer..ANN chat with me..chat chat and suddenly topic about CLIVE came out.i was begging ANN to tell me everything but he refuse.So i said i will not make fuss one.. but atlast.. he told. i was FUCKING angry.The more i know the more i start to shiver and my heart was pumping to fast. i dunno why. i just felt to angry and sad and im so embarrased.I keep thinking where will i put my face if more and more ppl keep knowing.At that point what i kept thinking was trying to SLAP his face the next day.i told ANN,TERENCE and DZUL only. the others dont know.i dont want to tell to many ppl that i want to SLAP CLIVE.The moment i step in class i was shivering.. i cover my face for the whole period of CHEMISTRY lesson . everyone keep asking me why but i ignore..cause i keep thinking what TERENCE advise me.. he told me not to do stupid things...DZUL came to me recces time and ask me i really want to do it or not. i was confused. ESHA over heard i think. and so after recces i went to wait for DZUL but he cant go out of class.I was to angry and went over to CLIVE's table and start the fight.
i got so many to shout at him. but that time what i could only say is

ME:"what you told fazirah and ann all ah!"

CLIVE:*look up*"what"

ME:*was blank and dunno what to say anymore so i SLAP him*

CLIVE:*he stand and push his table aside and SLAP me back but harder "u sure anot i got say anything"

ME:*trying to fight back*

CLIVE:*he was holding my both hand*"my face is not for u to slap ok!"

ME:*was about to shout everything in my mind but fazirah cover my mouth*

FAZIRAH:*covering my mouth so hard*"dont say it.it will be more worse"

ME:"&!@#%$@^&*%^$#^(*^" *no idea what i was saying*

FAZIRAH:"dont say! its ur dignity!bodoh"

ME:*ran outside the class break down and cry*

At that moment ESHA passby and saw me crying.After that what i knew, someone tookand hold my hand tight and bring me to the toilet. it was ADRI.. he was pulling my hand and my another had was covering my face since i cried so loud and other class we passby look at us.I was so sad. very sad.everything happend so fast.DAMN fast. i was shock too. i cant belive i SLAP him. i was glad cause all this while... from last year till now i've kept my anger towards him and now ive let go all my anger. mybe not all but now its time to forgive and forget.CLIVE and ME was sent to the OFFICE so as ESHA and FAZIRAH... ESHA go and throw chair and trying to hit CLIVE. but my classmates told me that ESHA pushed CLIVE and keep scholding vulgar..cause was angry he make me cry.TERENCE told me that they fight untill they was so close that if they take one step they can kiss alrdy. hah.. and my classmates all also told me that CLIVE was so angry that he punch the window panel until it was loose. damn loose.Everyone was shocked of what happen. even me. i was so hurt.He dunno what im going through. really..i keep crying thinking about it. why must u do this to me CLIVE? i dunt understand you :( u changed alot.We we both write our statements  and we can go home alrdy...FAZIRAH,ADAH AQILAH and ME went to airport.. i dont want to go cause i seriously had no mood.But i need cause we need to finish out project.I was quiet all the waay.We sat at T3 MACdonal there.. They eat but i didnt.Slowly i cried.. infront of them. i cant take it but to cry.. i cant take this anylonger... They comfort me.. everyone there was trying to comfort me.but i just keep crying. at last i was okaay.They really make me lauged. thaaanks alot guys.. u guys was awsome..I sense that FAZIRAH is msging with CLIVE.. so i say that i know who she was msging.. but she kept on denying. so i took her phone.pretended that i want to play her games. CLIVE msg her saying he was guilty for slapping me.. We went home at  7 plus.. i meet AMIRa for awhile..RINA,ADRI,and ANN texted ME.. thaaanks alot guys for ur concern.. I cant sleep that night. i was crying all alone.. i cant stop crying that night and i cant sleep. i was totally sad. i just wish he didn't exis in my life.Feel like dying.The feeling was damn awfull. really awfull. i cry until i went to sleep.The next morning was late for school again... with ADILLA.. and we actually kena suspend but MR TENG let us go to class first but need to report to the foyer after school.During lesson i didnt talk much. i just keep quiet and cover my face. i feel like crying but i try to be strong, im trying my best.. everyone keep asking me what happen.so many.. but i just said that we slap each other because of something.. they keep asking me what is that something but i just keep quiet..I can see everyone trying to cheer me up.. but i just cant.. i was so down... and weak.i feel that its like the end of the world.AISYAH,RINA,NAZ,ARRIS and HAKIM ALL cheer me up.. during recces time. thaanks guys. EVA,ME,ADILLA,NAMIRA,HAILINand DANIAL stay in school untill 5 plus.they made me lauged.thaaanks to u guys too :(...

CLIVE and ME is totally over now.that relationship thingy about me and him was no more.We've said sorry to each other alrdy.it was like the first time he said sorry to me... but it was not the first time.From last year.. i realise we keep fighting and when we are back together as normal we fight again..He use to love me and wanting me when im so irritated and hate him feeling uncomfortable...now he've gone so far leaving me alone when i was expecting for him...he've change.everyone change.fi want the old him. but no.now His feelings for me was no more..at all.now that i know. i should just move on. i admit.. that little feeling for him is still there.From last year i give in to him..Even now.. who was the one who said apologise first? it was me again...but i cant do anything and i'll just end all here and now.

Thaanks To All Who Cheer me up! Saying that u all will be there for me always. im so touched...
FAZIRAH,ADAH,AQILAH,QAMA,AISYAH,RINA,NAZ,ANN,ADRI,DZULkifli,MY SEX PARTNERS,DANIAL,ZULkanain,IRFAAN,FHIR,SHOL,IKAN,DEEVINA,
ARRIS,HAKIM,TERENCE,IRMA,HAZIQAH,ADILLA,AMY,AMINAH,ESHA,ILLYANA..
and MANY MORE...  thaanks alot... :'(
ADRI,DZULkifli and RINA texted me saying "i will always be there for you" i was touched. really. i almost cry.. typing all this makes me even want to cry. i wish i could turn back the time.
andd. to those who cheer me up on facebookk thankkss.. go to my facebook for more.:'( http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?ref=profile&id=1030790382
will not be the old ME for the time being..im too weak.